A Copywriter’s Blog

This was a lot cooler when I thought I could get it to work on my blog. I can’t though. I suspect it has to do with the CSS. But frankly, the people who created this are waaaay smarter than I am, so I’m not about to screw with it.

Essentially, this trick uses technology (or “magic”) to alter text so that when you highlight it, it shows colors instead of letters. We can now see exactly how many words a given picture is worth. Only catch is, since each letter equals one square of color, unless you scroll over an entire copy of War and Peace, the image will appear pixelated. Of course, if you ask me, that just means you have to use it in an ad for geeks or gamers. Don’t you agree, 8-bit Mario screenshot?
I’m determined to use this. So when you see this shit in a banner ad, you’ll know it was me what put it there.

I wrote this for my old blog. Haven’t tried it on yet.

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Click and drag to change your view in this 360 degree streaming video.

I saw this video, and I started cursing out loud while sitting at my monitor, at work. Then I heard other people cursing too, and I knew they had just checked their email.

UPDATE: For some reason, when viewed on my pre-intel G5, this video killed my mac. If that happens to you, or if you want more examples, visit the company’s site instead.

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There is a new Facebook application out. It’s called Burn Alter Ego and you should download it.

Remember the early days of Facebook? You would meet a person, they’d be your friend. You’d stalk them by trolling through their entire history of wall postings and – oh hey! There’s Jim. I didn’t know this friend knew Jim. I haven’t talked to Jim in ages. I should make Jim my friend.

That was an awesome feeling. You were part of an extended network of people all “six degrees of separation” style. But after a while- normally once you leave college- it stops working that way. You make one friend here or there. Maybe two at a time. And you don’t know those other people they’re friends with. And just asking random people to befriend you on Facebook is plain creepy. Really quickly, your network growth slows to a crawl.

This Burn app, it starts your network growing again. You can choose to “go out” for the night and meet strangers. Essentially, you’re randomly paired with another Facebook user who has the app. Once that happens, they appear on your Burn network. You can then poke them or ask them to be your friend or go out with them again tomorrow (non-randomly this time). But now you two have a connection- you’ve both “gone out” with each other through the app. Now you have a reason to be friends.

“Ben”, you’re saying “this is retarded. I didn’t ‘go out’ with anyone. This guy and I both pressed buttons, and then we got some story, and a goofy picture of our avatars together.”

You’re right, anonymous blog voice. That’s all you did. And all you know about each other is what your avatars and rooms look like. And that both of you didn’t really go out with each other to a club that didn’t exist where you didn’t get drunk and have a great time. But you know what? Sometimes that’s all it takes.

Two days ago, someone named Martina went out with me. I have no earthly idea who Martina is. We never met before. We only virtually went out once, but I am intensely curious about her. I really hope she becomes my friend.

If that’s not enough reason to download this app, here are a few more: it’s one of the first flash-based apps ever. It’s gorgeous. It’s immersive. And I wrote the copy for it. Download it now.

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It is that most wonderful time of year, my friends: March 14th, Steak and a Blowjob day! I almost forgot it after learning of this most cherished holiday last year. Which is a shame, since I would have written some kick-ass, Hallmark-can’t-touch-this holiday cards. In fact, even though they’ll be late, I’ll make them anyway. Just so everyone is prepared for next year.

UPDATE: This is an outrage! (Actual AIM convo with the wife follows)
HER: instead of steak and bj day
HER: we can have chicken and hug day
ME: that is an affront to a national holiday
HER: hey u should take what you can get
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I debated whether or not to post this. It’s no “2 girls 1 cup”, but I still felt nauseous after seeing it. I have nothing against WoW per se. I just consider it the digital crack of the world. And I’m way too cheap to pay off Blizzard every month to keep getting my fix.

And it’s not that I’m too proud to play or some shit like that. I love swords and dragons and elves just as much as the next guy. As long as the next guy isn’t this guy:

First, lock the damn door. Second, it’s an online game. That means there are thousands of sites one click away that will take you to actual naked women. Personally, I don’t even take my pants off for anything that’s not at least a 600 polycount anymore. Third, bravo to the people who posted this. Anything that makes it harder for that guy to breed is alright by me.

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I bet you ten dollars that headline does wonders for my Google traffic.

This is a video by some people I definitely don’t know. Particularly not the girl. I would certainly have never worked with her in the past. As the video shows, she’s clearly too smart for me. Also, before anyone jumps to conclusions, I am NOT the guy in this video. I don’t mean to be harsh, but I’m way, way too short to ever be confused with him.

If you don’t think this video’s funny, it might be because you haven’t heard about this.

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She called it a mistake Ben Levy 9, March

I call it funny as hell. This is an actual txt sent by my wife. In it’s entirety.

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Ode to a Violent Video Game Ben Levy 8, March

In honor of the situation described here. Always keep your ammo charged.

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and then SHE said… Ben Levy 6, March

So the dealership called to tell me the damage (to my wallet). I’m about to hang up when the woman says to me “By the way, you probably already know this but your windshield wiper fluid is leaking.” 

Hunh. That would explain why I seem to run through it so fast. “How much?” I ask.
“It’ll be $250.” She tells me. Somewhere in the distance, I think she’s explaining how the jet alone costs 150. I’m laughing so hard I can’t be certain.
“You’re telling me it’s 250 to fix a leak?” I ask her. “Don’t you guys have a roll of duct tape lying around?”
Pause. Then a sound that might be strangled laughter. “I’m sorry sir, we don’t do those kinds of repairs.”
I told her to skip it. I figure if the windshield gets dirty, I can just wipe it off with the two hundred and fifty dollars I’ll have in my pocket.
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My Perfect Metaphor Ben Levy 5, March

The following is a real IM exchange. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. And so nobody spams me.

Him: my VW is called Jalapen~a
Him: shes made in mexico
Me: ah, so it’s a real VW then
Him: i really thought it was german when i got it. i was all proud and shit
Him: and then i find out….mexico
Him: it says on a sticker on the window
Him: “proudly manufactured in volkwagen de mexico”
Him: i tore that sticker apart
Him: bought an EU Deutchland sticker
Me: haha
Me: did you really?
Him: yeah
Me: that’s so sad
Him: it is
Him: i know
Me: that’s like the auto equivalent of sticking socks down your gym shorts
Him: hahahahah
Him: thats EXACTLY what it is

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