BrokenJPG

A Copywriter’s Blog
Cross That Off My Bucket List Ben Levy 28, February

So at 11:42ish on Friday, I got laid off.

I can’t tell you how relieved I feel. I’ve never been laid off before, and a part of me was worried it might never happen. I mean, if you want to go skydiving, you can knock that shit out in a weekend, weather permitting. Hunting lions in the Serengeti with nothing more than a loincloth and a flint knife? Takes a week to schedule, tops.

But a lay off, that takes serious coordination. You can’t wake up in the morning and just decide “Ok, this it. I’m gonna get laid off today.” It requires an entire corporate machine. A guy (if he’s just plain unlucky) could go his whole life without experiencing that. Not me, man. Knocked that shit out at 27. I just cannot tell you what a load off my mind it is.

Anyhow, here’s my portfolio. Look at it, won’t you? Spread it around. Cause now that I’ve taken care of “get laid off”, I’m really eager to cross “set world record for being re-hired” off my list. Maybe I’m being too optimistic, but I achieved getting laid off last Friday. I mean, come on.

I feel like I can do anything now.

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Just a heads up Ben Levy 27, February

Post will be up by end of day tomorrow. I’d apologize, but it’s an amazing, life-changing post, and I need to prepare a few things for it.

Literally. Life changing.

UPDATE:
It’s up. What? I didn’t say it was life-changing for you, did I? I mean, if it is that’s great, but it’s mostly just supposed to be about how my life changed.

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The battlefield is a constantly evolving arms race. Old modes of destruction are constantly being replaced. In the process, it’s amazing to watch as the elite weapons of yesterday wind up in the hands every rotary club and household pet.

I mean, you never used to see old men callously swinging lightsabers like this.

And don’t even get me started on the bazooka-packing dachshunds.

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What’s Your Glory? Ben Levy 20, February

A friend of mine lives in LA, and does LA things. This means that he often interacts with LA people. This can be awkward, because there’s nothing like facing an individual the majority of our species has declared “popular”, and realizing you have absolutely nothing to bring to the conversation. I’ve been there.

In the course of discussing this, I pointed out that the real issue isn’t the famous person’s greatness. Unless they’re an ass, they’re not going to have a problem talking to a “normal” human being once in a while. The problem is that my friend and I are both operating under the mistaken belief that because neither of us have ever done something to earn the approval of the faceless, mewling, masses- be it running a country or uploading a video of a cat- we are therefore not worthy of speaking to someone who has. And that’s pretty stupid. It’s a self-esteem issue, and frankly we’re both egotistical enough that we should be beyond such things.

This makes me think of a story once told by the Rabbi of my childhood synagogue. Calm down, it’s not a religious one.

Rabbi Lewis was a great man, and I’ve been meaning to write several things about him here. But it’s a very emotional issue for me, and very, very hard. So as you read this, just imagine the story is ten times better than how I’ve written it.

“I was on vacation, on the beach. I was wading out, in the water, and a man came up to me, and we started talking. And he says to me “What’s your glory?”

I said, “What?”

He says, “What’s your glory? Your strength? What do you do?”

So, nu- I’m going to tell him I’m a rabbi? (Rabbi Lewis shrugs) So I said, “I’m a teacher.”

And he took a step backwards and he says-

“Man- that’s some glory.”

Admittedly, this conversation took place well before the age of YouTube and Unique Impressions. Still, I have a hard time believing this guy would have been as impressed if the Rabbi said “I have 100,000 fans on Facebook.”

We’re not all teachers (although, come to think of it, my friend and I both teach) but we all have accomplishments and skills that make us who we are. What we do may never get a million hits. But the truth is even a million hits won’t make you feel comfortable talking to someone you perceive as “bigger” than you. You may have uploaded the original Keyboard Cat video, but if you don’t believe you’re the equal of the “star” you’re talking to, then you’re not.

Of course, if you did upload a funny cat video, you could always break the ice by showing them that first.

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I know I have a love affair with hyperbole, but guys- this is literally the most amazing video game trailer I’ve ever seen. The direction is incredible.

Of course, “incredible” and “heart-wrenchingly disturbing” are not mutually exclusive. So, for those who would rather start their morning with a laugh, I offer the following:

I feel it’s safe to say that Australian Today show > American Today show.

Welcome to the weekend everyone.

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F You, V-Day Ben Levy 13, February

Happy Depressing Disillusionment Day everyone! Whether you’re just drying your eyes on the receipt of a needlessly expensive dinner, or finishing up some obligatory coitus that didn’t quite live up to your expectations, I hope you’ll keep in mind that while Valentine’s day comes but once a year, you’ll be making up for these financial and emotional fuck-ups for weeks to come.

I know someone is going to ask me how The Wife feels about how I feel about Valentine’s Day. Incidentally, The Wife left for work at 6:45 yesterday, and I won’t see her again till Friday afternoon. I’ll ask her for you then, k?

My hatred for February 14th is well documented, so I’m not going to waste anymore words on it this year. Besides, I honestly can’t do any better than this.

So instead, let’s spend some time doing something equally soul-crushing: playing The Technology Game! Remember:

The idea is to see whether all this fancy wi-fi’ing, blue-toothing, micro-satellite-RFID-emitting gear of ours is legitimately helpful or just a ridiculously expensive set of paperweights.

And now, let’s play last Thursday’s edition of The Technology Game!

I select my save-game file for Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, easily identifiable due to the fact that it lists nearly 75% of the game complete after spending 27+ hours playing. I experience a warm feeling of satisfaction as I reflect on how pleasant those nearly 30 hours of enthralling gameplay have been. +7 points.

Until discovering that my 75% complete save file is corrupted.
-700,000,000,000,000 x ∞ points

Total Point Value: (Fuck)Me.

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Friday Feature: Jim Beam Ben Levy 11, February

I don’t often feature work stuff here, because, well, who wants to read about that? But this spot was done by some people I work with, and I don’t even consider it an ad. It’s basically a 90 second movie. Not only that, but since it aired this past Wednesday, sales of William Defoe are up 400%.

I am extremely jealous of them.

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The Cowboys Win The Superbowl! Ben Levy 6, February

Since they showed up in like 17 ads tonight. That’s how it works right? Whatever stereotypical theme shows up the most wins? I’m not too clear on sports.

Just kidding guys. Clearly the VW spot with MiniVader was the winner.

Closely followed by Audi’s Kenny G spot, which I loved because it felt like a classic superbowl spot: ridiculous production budget that only made sense once the endline appeared.

I also enjoyed VW’s Black Beetle teaser.

Doritos’ strategy of letting other people do their work for them paid off again- both “Best Part” and “House Sitting” made me laugh, even if the pug one was terrible.

Almost as terrible as every single one of Chevy’s ads, each of which made me want to punch them in the metaphorical nuts.

But the big loser is clearly Groupon. I’m sorry Crispin- I love you, but it’s true. That spot was confusing and offensive. It outraged people only slightly less than the Black Eyed Peas’ successful attempt at the worst halftime show ever.

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There are a lot of videos I saw this week that made me think. Many that made me amazed. One that I swore was the single most important piece of moving content I’ve ever seen. And then there’s this one.

One clip to rule them all, and in the cuteness bind them.

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