The last two years, I had awesome explanations for how I was actually aging backwards. That ended this year.
This year, I turned 29. In itself, not a bad thing. But it’s 29-with-an-8-week-old-daughter, which is 45 in parent years. Many of my friends are in their 30s, but they can all sleep easy knowing I’ll always be older than they are.
The Spawn is two months old now, which means she’s ten pounds and smiles and laughs. Her gift to me was seven straight hours of sleep. It was the first night since she was born that I didn’t have to get up to feed her at least once.
So while I might be older than ever, I’m terminally behind on life, and I’m in a constant state of exhaustion, I could be feeling a lot worse.
I found this article about how drowning doesn’t look like drowning fascinating. Mostly because my brother almost drowned right in front of a life guard when we were little. Literally 2 feet in front of a lifeguard. Who was sitting at ground-level. Watching my brother do a fantastic impression of someone treading water.
What the life guard wasn’t noticing was that he was pushing the water right into his open mouth. Which was at water level, not above it.
The first clue for me was that my brother wasn’t supposed to be in the damn pool by himself. If I hadn’t known that, I might not have really seen what was going on either. The upshot was he didn’t die. Another benefit was that since I’m the one who jumped in and saved his life, I didn’t feel as bad when we discovered his horribly deviated septum was from that time I accidentally kicked him in the face.
The thing I’ve found with side-projects is that you can’t sit on them. If you don’t strike while the iron’s hot, get a jump on them, or make the most of some other crappy cliche, you wind up finding your old notes like 4 years later and going “oh yeah, that would have been cool.”
About a year ago, someone told me I should make a mobile game based on the dick book. I laughed. “How would I even make a game out of that?” I said, “It would have to be something like 20 different bras you would need to open, each with a different clasp that would basically be a puzzle. And for each bra you unlocked, you’d get a free chapter of the book.”
There was an uncomfortable silence. My friend was staring at me with a slightly open mouth.
“Look- no,” I began, “I haven’t even finished the first mobile game I started, and this one isn’t…I mean, sure it would be easier to build but…-”
He was still staring at me.
I got excited about it, but I didn’t move on it. I came up with all sorts of reasons not to. I couldn’t decide how best to display the book pages. I wasn’t absolutely sure it would work. I’m not a programmer. How could I make the puzzles intuitive but still hard enough to be entertaining? Would anyone ever play it?
A year later, it’s made.
Oh, not by me. No. You see, I was too busy asking myself stupid questions. The game that was made is called 100 Floors. The puzzles are elevators, not bras, and you have unlock one floor to move to the next. Many are not particularly intuitive. Your only reward is moving on to the next one. And for a week it was the most popular free game in the android store.