A Copywriter’s Blog
The Racist Post

When I talk to someone, I tend to unconsciously mimic their style of speech. It’s a habit I picked up somewhere. Most of the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it.

Being able to speak in different voices is a necessary skill for a copywriter. Various brands, demographics, and media all have their own styles of speech. Screw them up and things just sound “off”. For an example of this, let’s observe what happens when a White Jew from South Jersey who tends to mimic dialects gets into a conversation with an African American from Pretty Much Anywhere.

[Spoiler Alert: what happens is he sounds like an idiot.]

Example A: Lunch.

Black Coworker: “Mmm! This food is BANGIN’!”
My Dumb Ass: “FER REAL, YO THIS SHIT IS HAW-I mean yes, this food is quite delicious.”

Example B: Goodbye

Black Coworker: “See ya tomorrow, boy. Be easy.”
My Dumb Ass: “PEACE, SON!…oh man, I’m sorry can I just- can I just come back in the room and- and we’ll do the whole thing again? Ok? Just- like I’ll just come back in through the door and we can start over.”

Example C: I Don’t Even Know What To Call This

Black Coworker: “Yo that [OMG N WORD] was tryin me hard.”
My Dumb Ass: “Tell him ‘Don’t Step’ man. Gotta represent. Can’t just be comin’ round here talkin’ smack that way.”
Black Coworker: “…”
My Dumb Ass: “…”
My Dumb Ass: “Cause it’s- I mean, that’s how…um…”
Black Coworker: “Sometimes you try too hard, man.”
My Dumb Ass: “…You guys laugh about this in the meetings don’t you?

I’ve got to assume I’m not the only one who’s done this. I really hope I’m not. It’s not intentional, I swear. Sometimes I’ll do it three times in the same conversation and for the entire time my brain is screaming SHUT UP! YOU ARE A WHITE JEW BOY! YOU DO NOT “KEEP IT REAL”. YOU DON’T “ROLL WITH YOUR HOMIES”. NONE OF YOUR “SHIT” IS “TIGHT”. JUST KEEP YOUR DAMN IDIOT MOUTH SHUT, WISH THEM A HEARTY “MAZEL TOV”, AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE BEFORE YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF FURTHER.

And yet it just keeps happening. I’d stop it if I could. I mean, after the first time it’s not even funny anymore.

So to all my Black/African American/Painfully Sunburned friends, coworkers, and acquaintances- I apologize. I’m really, really sorry. I’m going to try really hard to keep it from ever happening again, and I beg your forgiveness if I act the fool while we’re cold chillin’.

…aw, damn it.

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One Response to “The Racist Post”

  1.   Pixy_Tixy Says:

    It’s official, I’m starting each day reading one of your blog posts.