BrokenJPG

A Copywriter’s Blog
Guest Post: The Best Thing That Ever Happened

Last week was so ridiculously out of control that I couldn’t even post a Friday Feature. In fact, the lack of regulatory behavior was so egregious that I still have not recovered, and find myself unwilling to sit down and write a post for Monday. Thankfully I, like Batman, am always prepared. Behold! The first BrokenJPG guest post- which I have been saving for just such an occasion. It is penned by one Isaac Pagan, and all formatting and words are his fault:
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The Best Thing That Ever Happened

I was 12, riding shotgun in my dad’s 92′ Sunbird down an empty stretch of highway. It was early morning, my dad was on his way to work and I was tagging along. My seat was leaned all the way back, and I was sleeping – as any 12 year old should be at 6:00 a.m. As dad slammed on the brakes and put his right hand on my chest, I opened my eyes to a red Montero coming from the opposite direction, attempting a U-turn.

Dad was doing 60, and the big, blocky S.U.V. came to a full stop in the middle of our lane for some unknown reason. Things I remember are as follows:

Tires screeching.

Sphincter tightening.

Yanni’s “You Only Live Once” cassette playing (in slow-mo.)

Crashing sound from hell.

Darkness.

Tires screeching some more.

Deeper, even more unescapable darkness.

Oily smell.

Gasoliney smell.

Passing the fuck out.

I woke up to see my dad slumped on his seat. I couldn’t breath. The front of the car was mangled and all I could see was broken windshield, buckled dash and blue sky. I tried to move, it hurt. My seatbelt wouldn’t come off and the door wouldn’t open. The Yanni cassette was crushed inside the mangled radio.

I smiled the faintest of smiles. I would never have to hear that shit again.

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Other facts:

- Dad and I recovered.

- Yanni still sucks.
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Despite having known him (I thought) for years, Isaac surprised me with this tale a few months ago. He did so with such an uncharacteristically incredibly deft delivery that I felt it would amuse the tens of readers who visit this site. I hope I was not wrong.

Should any of you out there have any interest in sharing a story with the world, America, a number of individuals greater than one, simply send me the tale at name of this site@gmail.com. I’m still going to write most of what happens here, but It’s nice to have a post or two in the utility belt*, as it were.

*Get it? Cause I’m like Batman**.

**So, so much like Batman.

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