BrokenJPG

A Copywriter’s Blog
MannieShevitz

I got a PS3 a few weeks ago, to compliment the Wii. It was a momentous occasion. Like a gamer Bar-Mitzvah. Today, I logged onto the Playstation Network, requiring me to choose a gamer handle. It’s MannieShevitz. Here’s why:

Every Friday night is the start of the Jewish sabbath. This means kosher wine. My father is something of a kosher wine connoisseur. Every Friday night, we had several bottles of merlots and cabernets. Good stuff.

However, when most people think kosher wine, they think Manischewitz. Manischewitz is a venerable brand nearly synonymous with the Jewish holidays. They sell a product they claim is wine. It comes in a bottle that looks like this:

Screen shot 2010-11-14 at 9.11.05 PM

It is not wine. Oh, it contains fermented grapes, but I wouldn’t use it to wash the tires on my car. It tastes exactly like alcoholic cough medicine. At my first job, after someone made a casual reference to Manischewitz and I ranted all over them for the next twenty minutes, it was unanimously chosen as my new nickname.

From then on my email signature read “Mannie Shevitz”.

It is a foul, gut-wrenching concoction of diabetic-inducing sweetness that can best be described as spiked Dimetapp. It is a sickening viscous liquid from which the stuff of nightmares is painted. All it takes is a glance at the bottle, or a whiff of it’s cloying aroma, to induce sheer terror in the beholder.

In other words, perfect for a gaming handle.

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