BrokenJPG

A Copywriter’s Blog
Getting closer to my flying car Ben Levy 19, September

I remember when voice commands first showed up in my cell phone. Thrilled to have a vessel that would obey my unquestioning commands, I eagerly recorded “Jodi” and “Home” into it.

The results were….disappointing. I couldn’t just cruise down the road and say “Jodi”. No, I had to pitch my voice exactly the same way the phone recorded it. “Jo-di. JO-dee. JO-Dee.”

Due to the constant mockery of my wife, (who heard me perform the same ritual for Home) I never bothered recording anymore verbal commands after that.

But yesterday, while driving, I accidentally hit the button on my bluetooth headset. Which asked me to “Say Command”. In a mood to perform pointless acts of speech, I blandly said “Jodi”.

“Did you say Judita?”

Say WHAT?

I have never programmed this earpiece. It was a cheap, last minute purchase for $14 when I got my phone. It just read my contact list and verbalized a name from it. On it’s own. Holy crap. Ok, don’t panic. Just do the logical thing- talk back to it.

“No”, I said.

“Jimmy?”

It’s going down my contact list? “No”

“Jon?”

“No”

After going through a couple Js on my contact list it gave up. Undeterred, I hit the button again and in a perfectly normal voice said: Call home.

My mother picked up the phone.

AWESOME. My unprogrammed $14 POS bluetooth just performed speech-recognition. Man, any day now I’ll have a flying car that transforms into an ipod that can also toast and butter my breakfast in the morning. All on the way to work. I should tell someone about this. Like my wife:

“Judita?”

Hmm. Maybe the car won’t transform. Let’s try it again:

“Joo-ahn?”

Jew who? Oh. Juan. Ha. Clearly this earpiece isn’t Spanish. My excitement subsided a bit. It appeared my transportation and toasters would remain earth-bound for the foreseeable future.

Still, I did find a hack. Jodi is #2 on speedial:

“Call 2″

My wife picked up the phone.

Man I can’t wait till my car flies. Then I’ll poop on birds.