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A Copywriter’s Blog
3 Times A Lady Author Ben Levy 4, July

Got so excited about the kid, I almost forgot about the book:

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Before I wrote the Owl Book, I did a lot of research. Went to a lot of bookstores. Read a lot of cardboard-backed bestsellers.

But, guys. Nothing, I mean nothing, is going to prepare you for children’s book writing like owning an actual child. I have read, on average, 4-to-4-bazillion baby books a night for the last two years. I can recite “Are You A Cow?” and “Click Clack Moo” and even “The Wonderful Sounds Mr. Brown Can Do” by heart.

So when it came time to write another one, the only preparation involved was figuring out where I was going to get the time to illustrate it.

I’m really proud of this book. I love how it came out. I want to share it with people. So I’m releasing a free pdf copy right here.

Literally. Click right here and get a free pdf of my latest children’s book.

And if you do love it so much you want it in book form,click here.

And to answer an FAQ- Yes, a Coo (or Cou) is a real creature. I discovered them on a family trip to Scotland years ago. I thought the name sounded fun. It still does.

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Obviously I’m not blind Ben Levy 4, September

If I were, I’d have said it by now. So there really wasn’t much suspense. But this story does point out why I’d make an awesome superhero, so you should still read it.

I am surrounded by doctors. My wife is in her fourth year of med school. My brother- and sister-in-law are residents. My father is a cardiac anesthesiologist and my father-in-law is a retired family physician.

So when they finally told me “yes you have shingles” I knew what that meant. It meant “yes, there is a chance you’ll be blind in one eye.”

I swear to you the following were the first thoughts to go through my head:

If I go blind, I’m rocking an eye patch. I don’t want a glass eye, or one eye that doesn’t actually see stuff and points the wrong way. I’m totally getting an eye patch.

And I’m gonna redo my whole resume. Shit yeah, I’m going to format it so all the copy is on the left half of the page, and the whole right half is blank. Then at the top I’ll put “Ben Levy: a writer with singular vision”. I will totally stand out from the crowd.

Honestly, those were my first thoughts.

Which means I, like Spider-Man, crack wise at the sight of terrible, life-altering danger. We men of action see our darkest fear staring us in the face, and we make jokes out of it. I faced a life of eternal myopia, and I mocked it.

According to my father, I was just in denial.

That’s ridiculous.

Mind you, while those thoughts were running through my head, my mouth was laughing. Not-hysterical-but-a-little-more-loudly-than-I-probably-should-be-under-the-circumstances-laughing. We men of action are entitled to such things.

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A matter of semantics Ben Levy 4, September

My father is a doctor. He’s actually an anesthesiologist (and I am actually able to spell that right on the firs try-EPIC WIN). Specifically, he’s a cardiac anesthesiologist. This means he works on people whose hearts keep trying to give out on them. What I’m saying is, the man has seen some shit.

I once had a tiny cut on my forearm that became infected. Overnight, a lump grew that became the size of a baseball. When my arm doubled in size in an hour, I brought it to my father’s attention. He looked at it and said: “I’m a little concerned.”

Later, my family physician said: “It’s a very serious infection. If it gets worse, you’ll be calling me from the ER, because that’s where you should go if the antibiotics don’t work.”

In other words, he too was “concerned”.

What does all this have to do with my shingles? When I called my father the morning before I was diagnosed, the conversation went like this:

“So they think it might be shingles. I think it’s ridiculous, but the rash is actually making my eyelid swollen, so I’m going to the dermatologist today.”

“Go to the ophthalmologist.”

“I’ve got an appointment with the-”

“Go to the ophthalmologist today. I would prefer you go there before the dermatologist. If it is shingles and it’s near your eye, that’s very serious. Do you understand?”

And in my head I’m going: ‘that’s very serious’…oh FUCK.

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