A Copywriter’s Blog

Which is of course why all the best presents are made for naughty kids. Keeping in mind “kids” in this sense is more a statement of maturity than of temporal passage.

Which is a complicated way to say “It’s the holidays, and these things make perfect gifts for your immature friends.”

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A perennial favorite, car should be taken not too wear this garment backwards. Unless, you know, you’re into that.


It’s a book about the mysteries surrounding the use, care, and purposes of manhood in general, and a man’s manhood in particular. It’s been out for nearly a year, and has received multiple endorsements. My personal favorites are “my friend stole the book, can I buy another one” and the not-likely-to-be-topped-in-this-lifetime “your book almost got me laid once”. Seriously, I didn’t make those up.

So please buy them for your family and friends. I promise it will make at least one of us happy this holiday season.

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A Holiday for Us All Ben Levy 13, February

I was originally going to post about how vehemently I despise Valentine’s Day. How despite the fact that I’ve been dating, engaged, or married to the same woman for the last 8 years, I still remember a winged baby’s mocking laughter from my “single” days. But then I realized I was looking at this all wrong.


All holidays are exclusive to some degree. Halloween clearly targets the younger crowd (half the houses I trick-or-treat at won’t even give me candy anymore). Christmas leaves the Jews with nothing to do but eat Chinese food and watch movies. Everyone loves St Patty’s- unless you’re a recovering alcoholic.

But Valentine’s Day, now there’s a holiday in which all have an equal share:

Singles are miserable because they’re single.

Dating guys are pissed because they’re forced to exchange their February paycheck for a gift whose price soars higher in direct relation to the amount of red paint on it.

Dating girls are doomed to disappointment because, no matter how hard they try not to, they will always secretly hope that their man will have something planned for them beyond their wildest dreams. (They will not)

Even the “genuine” guys are bitter this day. Because the most honest, heartfelt gift will still come across as a mere sacrifice to Cupid, as opposed to a spontaneous gesture of love.

So I rescind my bitter view of St Valentine, and his aforementioned day. Instead, I doff my cap and spend my money in recognition of this most impressive achievement: a holiday that all people can truly share. Indeed, Febuary 14th fulfills it’s intention far beyond his (and Hallmark’s) wildest dreams.

It’s an occasion for us all to get screwed.