A Copywriter’s Blog
Avert Your Eyes Ben Levy 1, November

I know you guys are used to exciting, nail-biting, read-it-through-your-fingers-it’s-so-intense topics on this blog, but I just wanted to warn you up front in case you couldn’t handle it: this post is about my bathroom. Specifically, the lighting in my bathroom.

Long-time readers will recall that this isn’t the first time I’ve covered the death-defying, insightful, and -dare I say it- mundane topic of lavatory illumination on my blog.

Man, am I destined for stardom, or what?

See, our appartment bathrooms have those silly vanity bulbs for light. The kind that surround the mirrors in cliche movie star dressing rooms. And they are bright. A mere forty watts a piece, but those babies do the job. So well in fact, that for about three months The Wife and I have been surviving on just one of them. Yesterday, that lone survivor went the way of his illuminary bretheren. He’s in a better place now. (The garbage.)

Thing is, we had forgotten just how bright our bathrooms were when we moved in. Allow me to illustrate. See, yesterday morning, our bathroom looked like this

Pitch Black Darkness

And then The Wife replaced most (MOST!) of the bulbs and it looked like this:


I flicked the light switch, screamed in agony as my corneas bled, and tried in vain to the find the “screen brightness” button before remembering that -despite the fact that I spend 95% of my life on a computer- the real world still does not respond to hot keys.

My new morning routine will contain the three S’s: sunglasses, shower, and shave, In that order.

There may also be a fourth ‘S’ in there, but that will depend on what I had for dinner the night before.

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