A Copywriter’s Blog
Dear Waitress: We’re Cool Ben Levy 19, December

Last week, The Wife and I ate lunch at Hillstone, otherwise known as Houston’s. There was a slight misunderstanding and The Wife, contrary to her order, received a burger with mayo, mustard, and ketchup on it. The waitress apologized and said she would take of it.

A little while later the manager showed up and also apologized, saying they would take care of the check. We didn’t really think it was that big a deal, but if they wanted to pay for the burger, who are we to argue?

Then the waitress appeared again to apologize a second time, calling her behavior “completely inappropriate”.


“Completely inappropriate?” Really? You put extra condiments on her order, you didn’t kick her mother in the shin and insult her faith. Calm down. By the time we finished the meal, she had apologized several more times, hoped our next experience dining there would be less disappointing, and made it clear that not just the burger, but the entire meal was on the house.

It was unbelievable. I’d hate to have seen the response if they had served us someone else’s food:

The waitress would enter, head downcast, hands bound in front of her with a length of rope. The manager follows along behind.

“Wife-san, this one has brought dishonor upon our name. We beg you to cleanse this stain for us.” So saying, she holds out a katana.

The Wife hesitates of course, prompting the manager to continue “I understand- you should not be forced to sully your hands on so unworthy a waitress. Allow me to do it for you. Or perhaps you wish another form of execution? We have a shooting squad out back, and many implements of torture.”

I feel like that scenario would be funnier if I weren’t so concerned it may have happened once or twice in the past.

So waitress, please. It’s ok. Were cool.

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