BrokenJPG

A Copywriter’s Blog
Numbers Game Ben Levy 29, January

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that as of today, I Have A Dick. Now What? has officially sold hundreds of copies. 201 copies, specifically. Which is, technically, hundreds.

I was really excited when the count got to 198, causing me to tell some people about it, causing some people to ask why I didn’t just lie and say that I had sold hundreds of copies without all the trouble of waiting for it to actually happen. They missed the point. It wasn’t about making a cliched claim. It was about reaching the milestone that cliched claim represented.

Speaking of milestones, this is my 405th post. If I had any sort of plan for these things, this would have been my 400th post. Alas, that was my four-hundred-and-third.

But I feel like, to honor the sale of my 200th book, and my 405th blog post, I should do something special. Something I’ve never done before. Something like share a piece of the concept art for my second book:

Screen Shot 2012-01-30 at 12.05.31 AM

It’s aimed at a slightly younger audience. Because if there’s one thing funnier than telling people you wrote a book about dicks, it’s telling people you wrote a book about dicks and a children’s book.

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Mile of Stones Ben Levy 30, January

I have things to share this week that are probably only exciting to me. But it’s my blog so that’s what gets posted on it.

Last weekend I sold my 100th copy of I Have A Dick. Now What? In fact, as of this writing, I have officially sold over 100 copies. That’s almost a dangerously respectable statistic.

I wanted to thank everyone who has supported what is clearly a shameful, infantile, and amateurish attempt at literature. You continue to dismay my parents, and that means more than I can say.

Coincidentally, I recently finished reformatting the book for e-readers. The double-page-spread layout of the physical book wasn’t very kindle/ipad/nook friendly, so I changed it to a single-page layout. And giving that away for free seems like a great way to celebrate breaking the double-digit barrier.

I’m currently going through previous orders and emailing e-copies to everyone who bought a physical book. I’ll also make the digital version available for download here and on the book’s website just as soon as I figure out how to record the number of times its been downloaded (purely for bragging rights). I wrote a little email to people when I sent out the digital copies, and I kind of liked it, so I’m posting it here in full:

Dear Dick-havers and Dick-haver Enthusiasts,

Twas nearly a year ago that my book was released on an unsuspecting public. Much has changed in that time. For one thing, I have become a man of distinguished renown, often traveling the country to speak to graduating classes and receive honorary doctorates.* For another, many people now read books on paperless glowing screens.

It is in regards to the latter that I am pleased to announce the release of the Virtual (yet very real) Digitized E-book Edition of I Have A Dick. Now What?

In this latest release, the entire work has been reformatted for ease of perusal in a single page format. Also, if you click on the chapters in the table of contents, you jump right to them. Magic.

Eventually this edition may become available to the public for little or no cost. But before that time it is my great honor to bestow it upon each and every one of you, who supported me when I was a penniless, destitute, wretch.** You have all given me a preposterous sense of accomplishment.

Thank you all.

Sincerely,

Ben “Dover” Levy

PS- Feel free to upload this to every torrent, file-sharing site, and internet-tube you can find. I recognize this is a poor way to sell things, but I’d rather be famous than rich.***

*This may or may not be true.
**I am a now a two-penny, destitute, wretch. Huzzah!
***Though preferably both.

So there it is. I Have A Dick. Now What? has sold over 100 copies, and will soon be available to all as a free download.

Lastly, in a co-coincidence, I am now the proud owner of a Kindle. But that’s next week’s post.

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