A Copywriter’s Blog
F You, V-Day Ben Levy 13, February

Happy Depressing Disillusionment Day everyone! Whether you’re just drying your eyes on the receipt of a needlessly expensive dinner, or finishing up some obligatory coitus that didn’t quite live up to your expectations, I hope you’ll keep in mind that while Valentine’s day comes but once a year, you’ll be making up for these financial and emotional fuck-ups for weeks to come.

I know someone is going to ask me how The Wife feels about how I feel about Valentine’s Day. Incidentally, The Wife left for work at 6:45 yesterday, and I won’t see her again till Friday afternoon. I’ll ask her for you then, k?

My hatred for February 14th is well documented, so I’m not going to waste anymore words on it this year. Besides, I honestly can’t do any better than this.

So instead, let’s spend some time doing something equally soul-crushing: playing The Technology Game! Remember:

The idea is to see whether all this fancy wi-fi’ing, blue-toothing, micro-satellite-RFID-emitting gear of ours is legitimately helpful or just a ridiculously expensive set of paperweights.

And now, let’s play last Thursday’s edition of The Technology Game!

I select my save-game file for Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, easily identifiable due to the fact that it lists nearly 75% of the game complete after spending 27+ hours playing. I experience a warm feeling of satisfaction as I reflect on how pleasant those nearly 30 hours of enthralling gameplay have been. +7 points.

Until discovering that my 75% complete save file is corrupted.
-700,000,000,000,000 x ∞ points

Total Point Value: (Fuck)Me.

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