BrokenJPG

A Copywriter’s Blog

I think most people agree that Zappos.com is good shit. Possibly even the shit. And after reading this story, I’ve discovered they embody corporate soulfulness, a trait I did not even know existed prior to reading about it.

Yesterday, at 10:30pm, my wife ordered me a pair of crocs from Zappos. (Don’t judge me, they’re for walking the dog) Today, I came home from work to discover a box on my front step. There were crocs inside.

They were ordered at 10:30 last night. I got them in less than 24 hours.

This is not the first time I have bent space-time to my will. I am not above suggesting that my latent mutant powers might be revealing themselves at last.

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Coming Clean Ben Levy 6, April

When I was younger (like 10), I took forever in the shower. We’re talking 60+ minutes, easy. Al Gore once came to my house to discuss an entire rainforest I’d killed due to my excessive water use.

As I got older, my shower time grew shorter. But I’m still conscious of the time I spend showering, particularly when I’m running late.

That brings us to one particular morning last month. I was running behind schedule. Trying to gauge how much time I had, I checked my clock- 8:23. I set myself the goal of being done by 8:30. One hasty lather-rinse-repeat cycle later, I jumped out of the shower and checked the same clock again- 8:21.

There is only one sane conclusion: I showered so fast I went backward in time.

I’ll leave you all to consider that. I’m about to go end Nazi Germany before it ever happened. If all goes well, my dripping wet physique and this little rubber ducky will be the last thing baby Hitler ever sees.

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